Category Archives: Uncategorized

Sakit ang pipinta

At kung ang sakit
Ang pait
Ang pighati
Ang kirot
Ang kasadlakan
Ang hapdi

Ang bawat pagsamo ang gumuguhit,

Gamitin mo ang luha ko bilang pintura
Gamitin mo ang balat ko bilang balindang

Ilarawan mo
Iukit
Iburda

Ipinta ang tinatangis

Nang sa gayo’y iyong matanto
Na sa bawat panaghoy ay mayroong kasagutan
Na sa bawat kapighatian ay mayroong kariktan

Dahil ang bawat pintig ng puso
At pagdaloy ng dugo ay lumilikha ng sining

Maaaring itago sa sarili
Maaaring ibahagi sa nakararami

Ang iyong emosyon bilang isang obra-maestra

[PAGKAKATALIKWAS: Naisulat mula sa isang ideya. Mula sa utak at hindi mula sa emosyon. Pagkat ako’y masaaya (kung hindi pinaka)]

Kung ang pagmamahal ay

A ~ W ~ I ~ T

Kung ang pagmamahal ay isang awit
Susulat ako’t lilikha ng musika
Kakanta ako

Aawit ako sa himig na hinugot
Hinugot mula sa puso
At ipinorma sa hugis ng pagsinta

Sasabay ako sa bawat kumpas ng nota
Aalon sa bawat taas at baba
Parang sa pag-ibig, parang sa buhay

Isisigaw ko
Sa dulo ng aking baga
Sa abot ng aking hininga

Ngunit sana,
kapag,
kung pwede lang,

Sa pagkakataong mawala ako sa tono
O magkamali ako ng liriko
Pakisabayan ako’t suportahan

Dahil pangako, ma-paos man ako,
Ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang kakantahan ko.

Ikaw.
Ikaw at ikaw lang.

Para kay Gumpal
Para sa pag-ibig
Para sa mga pusong ‘di napapagod magmahal

Pitik-Bulag

Lahat ng taong dumarating ay umaalis din
Dumating siya para pasayahin ka
Dumating siya para saktan ka
Ano man ang dulot niya, lilisanin ka niya

Lahat ng taong dumarating ay umaalis din
Iniwan ka niya dahil patay na ang naga-alab niyang damdamin para sa’yo
Aalis siya kahit hindi niya gusto dahil kailangan
Lilisanin ka niya dahil ayaw mo na sa kanya

Lahat ng taong dumarating ay umaalis din
Kaibigan, Kalaro, Ka-eskwela, Kasintahan, Kaaway, Kapamilya
Ano man ang gagampanan niya
Aalis ka o aalis siya

Lahat ng taong dumarating ay umaalis din
Masaya ka sa paglisan ng taong kinaiinisan mo
Malungkot ka dahil mahal mo pa siya
Galit ka dahil niloko ka niya

Lahat ng taong dumarating ay umaalis din
Parang asawa sa asawa
Parang kasintahan sa kasintahan
Parang kaibigan sa kaibigan

Lahat ng taong dumarating ay umaalis din
Walang pinipiling estado, walang pinipiling pagkatao
Aalis siya dahil yun ang desisyon niya o dahil yun ang takda

Lahat ng taong dumarating ay umaalis din
Lahat ng tao ay nasasaktan
Lahat ng tao ay nagsasawa
Lahat ng tao ay namamatay

Lahat ng taong dumarating ay umaalis din
Lahat ng taong dumarating ay umaalis
Lahat ng taong dumarating
Lahat ng tao
Lahat

//

[PA]-HINGA

Minsan masarap humimlay sa ataul ng kamangmangan.

Pahingi ng oras.
Pahingi ng oras dahil kakailanganin ko yatang lisanin ang kasalukuyan at humanap ng sariling panahon — panahon kung saan ako ang batas. Panahon na hindi noon, ngayon, o bukas at sa susunod pa.

Pahingi ng espasyo.
Pahingi ng espasyo kung saan maaaring mag-walwal nang walang naiiwanan. Pahiram kahit maliit na patlang upang makasigaw at maging tahimik sa sabay na pagkakataon.

Pahingi ng pang-unawa.
Pahingi ng pang-unawa na darama at tututok sa nagpupumiglas kong kalooban. Pag-intindi na hindi magtatanong o sasagot ngunit makikinig sa hinaing na di kayang sambitin ng aking mga labi.

Pahingi ng yakap.
Pahingi ng yakap mong nag-a-alab na di kaiba sa diwa at emosyon. Pahiram ng mga braso mong magsisilbing panandaliang kumot at munting tahanan ko na siyang magkukubli ng lahat ng pait, ng sakit, ng pighati.

Pahingi ng hintulot.
Pahingi ng kaunting pagpapahintulot sa aking magkamali, madapa, o matulala. Sa mga matang pagod tumingin sa parehong kawalan at kaguluhan, pahintulutan sana ako na pumikit at sa unang pagsubok ay mawala sa wala.

alay sa pamilya
alay sa organisasyon at mga pagkilos
alay sa kapwang napapagod rin
alay sa lahat ng nais huminto’t magpahinga

You Are The Sailor

You. Yes, you!
You are the captain of your own ship
Sail however, wherever, and whenever you have to.
Sail as if it would be the grandest thing.

There’s nothing wrong in falling in love nor in hearing what other people say. Just – just don’t let them manipulate you. If they must speak, let them speak. If they must be heard, hear them. But that does not necessarily mean you have to follow them. Sail your own ship. Navigate the sea. If you want to head north, then do so. If you want to go to the east, go chase the sun! Nothing should stop you, unless…(Yes, there’s an “unless”. There is no absolute freedom in this world. As what they say, your right ends where the other’s starts, sure this quotation is not applicable to everything. It is just here. In this context, in this writing.)…unless you are hurting and taking advantage of others.

Don’t let the blindness of falling in love mislead you. Don’t let it deceive you. Don’t let others’ ideas and believes limit you to what you want to achieve. Their compass may not be your compass. Meaning, all of you may have different directions in navigation — in life. You have your own soul. You have your own life.

The sea is full of wonders underneath. The surface may seem as if it is hollow. Plain blue with a touch of green. What will surprise you are the hidden treasures beneath that blue blanket and waves. Don’t be afraid to dive in! Explore the beauty of it. Just as in life, you have to explore the world. Be a spirited animal. Go travel. Take some risks! You never know what will then knock on your door. Enjoy life for it is wonderful. Enjoy life because aside from your god (if you believe in any), you are the sailor. Taste the sea, swim with the creatures. Taste every sweetness and saltiness of life. Don’t be afraid to know what’s sour or bitter. Sometimes they are also good. Have a small harmless small talk with a random stranger. Smile. You can also live with other individuals in your life. Don’t push anyone who comes close to loving you away. Life is too short, your journey is too short to cater to all the shit in this universe. Love it.

But most importantly, love yourself. Who will sail your ship if it would not be you yourself? 

Breaking Up With Self

Maybe we don’t need to find ourselves.
Maybe we already lost it and we can’t take it back.

Recreation is better than finding, right?
You have broken yourself. Well, who cares? It doesn’t have to be everyone’s business. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the time of grief. We unintentionally but forcibly change ourselves to withstand huge waves that come upon us. I used to say I have to bring my old character. I have to search for my goddess. But being able to accept what I cannot have back should also mean being able to love what I have now. I may improve it.

I hate how “finding myself” is such a thing now, a trend. Like, really does everyone need to? Or they’re just trying to be cool? Why can’t people be themselves? Why do they have to wear masks just to try to fit in or stand out?

I say, once you have broken up with your old soul, recreate yourself. Live the life you want. Be wary of the love and the people who give it to you. You’re blessed you are loved. So if others or your god celebrates your existence then why shouldn’t you?

Traveling Doesn’t Make You A Better Person: What Our Generation Gets Completely Wrong About Travel

Because traveling is not just “TRAVELING”

Thought Catalog

Leo HidalgoLeo Hidalgo

I remember discussing personal growth with a friend one day—someone I respected and admired—and gushing about how important traveling is to finding ourselves, when she told me the most outrageous thing:

“I think people make too much of a fuss over traveling. I mean, I do love traveling. But I don’t think that it is always the best way to grow.”

At that moment, such an unwelcome notion was downright scandalous for me. My friend was an artist with a creative and curious mind—how on earth could she say that? What could be better for personal growth than getting to know other places, cultures, people, other forms of art? I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

Well, it took me a while, but I finally understand what she meant. And I’m glad she gave it some thought before jumping on that attractive but shallow bandwagon. Now, even…

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Aminin Mo

Aminin mo.
Aminin mo na malungkot ka.
Aminin mong di ka masaya.

Sa bawat ngiting sinusuklian ng simangot,
Sa bawat tawang sinusuklian ng iyak,
Aminnin mong malungkot ka.

Mapaglaro ang panahon, mapaglaro ang mundo.
Tahimik ka nga, tikom ang bibig.
Pero ang utak mo’y walang tigil na humaharurot.
Paulit-ulit at pa-ikot-ikot.

Nakakapagod.
Wala kang binibigkas pero daig pa ng isang nananalumpati ang utak mo.
Daig pa si Karl Marx o Sigmund Freud sa mga pinagsasatsat.
Mahirap nga namang patahimikin ang maingay na utak at damdamin.

Pero siguro kung aaminin mo,
Siguro lang naman kung maaamin mo.

Di ka masaya.
Malungkot ka.

Ganito pala yun, ‘no?

Baka masolusyonan mo pa.

Fiction

I used to shout.
I used to give my heart out.
I used to express my thoughts.
I used to show my deepest, strongest emotions.

But tonight’s different,
I give nothing.

No words.
No thoughts.
No emotions.

Blank.